You Put Your Arms Around Me and I'm Home
by Cheesypickuplines
Summary: "Why are you so afraid of Hoyt?" Jane sat up and looked Maura in the eye, hesitantly chewing on her lip. "He- He's not just after me. He wants to hurt you, and he has already taken so much from me that there's nothing left to take, but you, I can't let him hurt you like he's hurt me. I can't let him do this to you, too."
1. Chapter 1

**First of all, I'm really sorry about the lack of updates on my Calzona story, and I can't make any promises that I'll update this one, but I'm actually really proud of this one and how it turned out, so hopefully that will persuade me to write more. I wasn't sure about the writing so please let me know if you think I should change it to M. Thank you so much for your time. Reviews, whether constructive or destructive, are always appreciated. :)**

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She was perched on the edge of Maura's bed, dark eyes trained on the mirror across the room. Her own face looked foreign in the reflective glass, from the fractured right eye socket to the array of bruises that littered more than half of her face. Each tiny cut hidden amongst the deep blue and purple hues seemed to exaggerate her injuries even more, and the few that had required stitches trapped a story all their own beneath thin black threads. She couldn't understand why he hadn't just killed her, or why he had even gone after her in the first place. She didn't fit into his status quo, she wasn't married; there was no husband to kill or wife to rape.

Jane's eyes moved to the door as Maura entered slowly, a duffel bag of her own belongings slung over her shoulder. She kept her moves deliberate, dropping the bag on a chair in the corner before approaching the hunched brunette with her hands held out in front of her. The last thing she wanted to do was scare Jane, after living the last two months of her life subject to Hoyt's tortures, Maura felt it was her duty to keep things as calm and safe as possible.

"Hey," she said, lowering herself gracefully to sit beside Jane. "How about we get you something to eat, and then we'll worry about a bath? Do you think you could manage a smoothie?"

Jane barely moved, only bringing her big, timid eyes up to meet soft hazel ones as she shook her head slightly. She hadn't been able to keep food down in over a month, and even the thought of trying to eat something made her stomach leap.

Maura sighed softly and ran a hand through Jane's knotted, unruly curls before gently taking her hand in her own. "I know that you're scared, Jane, but you have to eat. Just a few sips, alright?" She stood up and smiled, pressing a soft kiss upon Jane's forehead before heading toward the door. "I'll be right back."

Jane brought her eyes back around to look in the mirror, taking in her emaciated form. She had always been skinny, but within the last two months she'd shed at least thirty pounds she didn't have to lose. Hoyt was going to kill her, whether with his own two hands or with the ramifications of what he'd done to her. She was as good as dead.

"Just drop me off at my apartment," she'd said in the car, eyes never leaving her lap, too embarrassed to let anyone, even Maura, see her and too afraid to look out the window for fear of seeing him hiding in the bushes at the park as they drove by, or in the car beside her.

"We're going to my place," Maura countered, eyes leaving the road long enough to glance at Jane, who seemed to be trying to make herself as tiny as possible. It seemed strange to her that someone who had always wanted to make her presence known, to let others know, as she would say, that she was 'large and in charge,' was trying to physically disappear into the car's seat.

Jane didn't argue. Maura's kind, yet authoritative voice left no room for objections. Instead, she picked at a piece of fuzz stuck in the velcro of one of the braces encasing each of her legs. Only now did she understand why Casey had been so reluctant to display his injuries to her, but at least he could walk. Her mobility depended completely on a wheelchair. Her legs worked, but they weren't strong enough to support her body weight while walking or even standing for more than a few seconds at a time. When the doctor had come in and told her the prognosis, she'd cried, full out bawled into Maura's shoulder for over an hour, only pulling away to ask how long. Maura's teary, tender smile told her she didn't have to say it for her to know exactly what she meant. "Longer than you'd like, Jane," she had said, "but I promise you, it won't be forever."

Her head shot up as Maura reentered the room, a tall glass in each hand. She set the smoothies on the nightstand and stood the pillows up against the headboard.

"Here, sit back against the pillows, Jane." Maura could see her shaking from the small amount of strength it took to sit up, even for just a few minutes. She held out her hands, and helped the detective slide back against the pillows, making sure Jane knew where her hands were at all times. She retrieved the glasses from the nightstand and handed one to Jane before settling herself on the other side of the bed. "Banana with whip cream and a cherry, just how you like it."

Jane stared down at the drink, contemplating whether or not to subject herself to the repercussions she knew would come from allowing anything to hit her stomach. At least the smoothie would look the same coming back up as it had going down. She tightened her lips around the straw and took a pusillanimous sip, reveling in the feeling of the cool liquid against her scream-battered throat.

"Good?" Maura asked quietly, her own straw still tucked between her lips. It scared her how uncommunicative Jane had been since her rescue. She'd barely said anything in the week she was in the hospital, but Maura had hoped bringing her home would cause some of the old, outgoing Jane to return. However, in the hour they had been away from Massachusetts General, even less had been said. Maybe she had felt safer at the hospital, with all of the people around, maybe she felt like Hoyt was less likely to come after her in such a public place, but in the privacy of Maura's home with just the two of them, who knew what could happen.

Jane nodded in response, and she smiled, unsure of what to say. It was hard to keep a conversation going by yourself, and even harder to reassure someone who had once seemed invincible but was now tiny and fragile because of a horrific act of violence that she was and would be okay.

Jane only managed about a third of the smoothie before she handed it back to Maura, but the medical examiner was pleased with her progress. She disappeared into the kitchen to place their cups in the dishwasher, then returned and held her arms out toward Jane. "Would you like to take a bath? I know the nurses gave you one at the hospital, but I figured you would feel better after using real shampoo and body wash, not that cheap stuff the ward had." To be honest, Maura wasn't sure how effective Jane's bath at the hospital had been. The brunette had always been modest about her body, and after Hoyt had exposed her without her permission, taking her body as his own, she had no idea whether Jane would be submissive to being naked in front of strangers.

The detective didn't move. She kept her eyes cast downward and her shoulders hunched over, hair shielding her face.

"Jane," Maura sighed softly, dropping onto the bed beside her. "You have to talk to me. I know you're scared, but I'm not going to let Hoyt get to you, okay?" She placed her hand under Jane's chin and lifted her face so that their eyes met. "I promise you, Jane. I will never let him hurt you like this again, but you have to talk to me. You have opinions and feelings here. All you have to do is tell me what you want. I would never make you do anything you don't want to do, alright? Can you do that? Can you talk to me? Please?"

Tears formed in her dark eyes as she nodded. "I-I would like to take a bath," she admitted, "but I-I can't do it by- by myself." Embarrassed eyes darted quickly around the room, looking anywhere but at Maura.

"Hey, hey, look at me," the honey-blonde soothed. "That's alright, Jane. There's nothing wrong with admitting you need help, and I am more than happy to help you, okay? Anything you ever want or need, all you have to do is tell me, okay?"

Jane nodded again and Maura smiled. "Alright, let's get you in the tub." She pulled the wheelchair up by the bed and lifted Jane by her armpits, helping her slide into it. She parked Jane a few feet away from the tub while she started the water, adjusting it so that it was the right temperature. Satisfied, she turned away and motioned toward the braces on the brunette's legs. "May I help you take them off?"

The detective shook her head yes, reaching toward her left leg to begin undoing the velcro. Once both of the braces were removed, she allowed the M.E. to help her out of the hospital issue gown and scrub pants. They removed bandages that covered stitches then Maura shut off the water and pushed the wheelchair to edge of the tub. "Just put your hands on the side and move yourself onto it, then we'll rotate you and lower you in, alright?"

With Maura's assistance, she managed to get herself into the tub easily, but it didn't stop the agony that radiated within her. She sucked in a deep breath and lowered her head, clenching her toes as the pain arched. Maura waited patiently, gently rubbing her back and whispering assurances until Jane relaxed, allowing herself to lean back against a towel Maura had placed at the end of the tub.

Jane took the opportunity to survey her injuries for the first time since she'd been found. Starting at the top, she took note of the burns and bite marks on her breasts, the bruises caused from cracked ribs, and the hand sized blemishes decorating her arms and midsection. Her thighs were the darkest shade of black she had ever seen and between her legs burned. More cuts and bruises danced across her legs and feet; not an inch of her body was left untouched. Tears welled in her eyes and she looked to Maura, hoping she wasn't disgusted with the abuse Hoyt had put her through. She was completely exposed in front of the honey-blonde, and now she knew everything he had done to her, not that she hadn't read the hospital report, but now she could actually see it for herself. The M.E.'s eyes showed nothing but compassion and love for her best friend that had been caught in an unforgiving act of violence.

"It's okay," Maura assured her, tenderly running a hand through Jane's hair. "It's okay. They'll heal, and so you might have a few scars, but like we've said before, scars are sexy; they're battle wounds that show what you've been through."

Jane sputtered as salty tears slipped feverishly from her eyes. "These aren't something to be proud of, Maura. They show how weak I was, how weak I am. Hoyt is so much stronger than me, and I'm stupid for ever thinking I could beat him."

"Jane, Jane listen to me," Maura demanded, taking Jane's bruised cheeks in her hands. "You aren't weak, Jane. You're still here, still alive because you are strong. And you aren't stupid. Gosh, Jane. You could never be stupid or weak. You will beat Hoyt, and I'm going to help you. You're already beating him by being here with me right now. And your scars, some of them will fade, but the ones that don't will serve as a reminder that you beat him, Jane. Hoyt will be punished for everything he has done to you, that I can promise you." Maura wiped away Jane's tears with her thumbs and planted a soft kiss on her dark purple cheek. "I love you, Jane. You're the best friend I've ever had, and I absolutely refuse to let Charles Hoyt destroy you."

Letting go of Jane, Maura poured some soap onto a loofa and rubbed it gently over the detective's skin, removing dirt and blood that the nurses had missed, or couldn't get off because there had been so much. She took her time, letting the soft material massage Jane's upper body and legs. When it came time to do her thighs, Maura handed Jane the loofa and wrapped an arm around her, lifting her up so that she could finish washing herself properly. Lowering Jane back into the tub, she rinsed the loofa and hung it back over the spigot. Maura squirted more than enough shampoo onto her hands and kneaded it into the thick curls, then used a cup to rinse away the suds. She repeated the process with conditioner, then pulled the plug, allowing the tub to drain completely before she began drying Jane. She left the brunette sitting in the bathtub with a towel while she gathered clothes. When she reappeared with a set of pajamas in hand, she helped Jane ease herself onto the side of the tub. She slipped a pair of underwear over Jane's ankles, then lifted her up enough to allow Jane to pull them the rest of the way up. Maura helped get Jane settled into the wheelchair so she could move her to the bed, deciding it would be easier to treat her injuries and then put the pajamas on her.

Once Jane was laid against the pillows, Maura grabbed the gauze and multitude of creams the hospital had sent them home with. She gently applied generous amounts of cream to each cut and burn, making sure Jane knew exactly where her hands were going. She redressed the deeper cuts, inspecting the sutures for any telltale signs of infection, satisfied that everything seemed to be healing properly. When she reached the last tube of cream her eyes met Jane's and the brunette swallowed hard.

"I won't do it if you don't want me to, Jane, but from what I read in your report you really need it, and I don't think you can apply it yourself."

"You can do it," Jane said hoarsely, her voice breaking. She shut her eyes and felt Maura gently slip her underwear down to her thighs. She gasped as warm hands parted her folds and applied the cream ever so gently. Maura's hands were more tender than the nurses had been. It seemed strange, considering she was used to working with the dead while the nurses spent their days with the living. Despite Maura's careful touch, she still felt immense pain. That area had received the most trauma, much to Hoyt's pleasure. He had raped her, multiple times a day over the period of two months that he had her, sometimes using objects too large to be shoved inside of a person. Upon inspection in the hospital, the doctor had told her the tears centered around her lower half would need stitched, and no matter how much numbing medication they gave her, each movement of the needle pulling the thread through her felt like a bullet going through. She had squeezed Maura's hand so hard she was afraid she had broken it, and screamed through clenched teeth until the doctor had finally, finally announced she was finished.

"It-it burns," Jane whimpered, tightening her hands into fists around the sheet.

Maura leaned in and blew cool air onto the area where she'd just applied the cream, continuing to do so until Jane relaxed her hands and released the fabric.

Maura pulled away and slid the underwear back up Jane's thighs. The detective opened her eyes and Maura smiled, running her hand along her bare thigh. "Let me wash my hands and then we'll get you dressed." She slipped into the bathroom and returned a minute later with a glass of water and two pain pills. She handed them to Jane, who wordlessly swallowed them, much to Maura's surprise. Jane was usually one to argue about taking medication.

The honey-blonde helped Jane into a pair of loose pajama pants and an old tee-shirt, then tucked her in beneath the covers and turned off the lights. Walking around to the other side of the bed, Maura lifted the blankets enough to slide in and grasped onto the hand that frantically sought out hers.

"Maur?" Jane asked timidly. "You-you can scoot closer. I-I don't mind."

"Hang on just a second." The medical examiner slid out of bed and turned on a small night light she had asked Frost to buy for when Jane came home, just in case. The tiny bulb let off enough light to eliminate most of the shadows in the room, much to Jane's pleasure. Maura slid back into bed and felt Jane wiggle close to her, reaffirming her hold on her friend's hand.

"I'm right here, Jane," Maura promised. "I'll always be right here."


	2. Chapter 2

**I just want to say thank you to everyone that took the time to review, favorite, or follow this story. I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter, but I hope you like it. And I was wondering how much you guys would hate me if I made Jane pregnant with Hoyt's baby. Hmm, I don't know about that.**

**And by the way, I don't own Rizzoli and Isles. I forgot that in the last chapter, but I wish I did own them. If I did, Rizzles would have happened a long time ago.**

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A muscular leg collided with her stomach, jolting the honey blonde awake with a gasp. Her hands immediately went to Jane as she scooted closer, wrapping her arms around her friend's flailing body. As much as she hated to admit it, Maura had known the nightmares would return with a new vengeance, strengthened by the most recent of Hoyt's tortures against Jane. At the hospital, the combination of morphine and other drugs had kept away most of the memories, but she had waited faithfully at Jane's side anyway, ready to stop any unconscious thoughts of Hoyt in their tracks.

Jane let out a small whimper, and Maura tightened her hold, moving to spoon against the detective. "You're alright, I promise. I'm here, right here. Everything's okay. You're safe."

A tortured moan escaped from Jane as her nails unintentionally dug into the flesh of Maura's arm, and the ME felt her heart burst into a million pieces. Even though he wasn't with them physically, Hoyt would never cease to bring agony into Jane's life. "Shh, Jane. I'm here. We're alright."

The moans quickly turned into screams, and Maura sighed. She hated this, hated him, hated him more than anything or anyone she'd ever known. How could someone do this? Why would someone want to cause someone else so much pain that they couldn't even sleep at night?

"Jane, hey Jane, wake up. You're alright, sweetie. Open your eyes." She shook her ever so gently, not wanting to bring her anymore pain, whether physical or emotional. "Jane, it's alright, honey. Come on and open your eyes for me."

The detective tensed in her arms and Maura felt her shove hard against her, trying to separate them, but her grip held them steady. "No, shh Jane, it's alright." She peered down into large, dark, watery eyes and pressed a kiss into sleep-mussed curls. "It was just a dream, Jane."

Her brown hair made a whooshing sound against the sheets as she shook her head. "I- I don't know where he is, Maur."

"I know," she soothed, "I know, but we're going to keep you safe. I promise. Vince and Barry and I, we won't let anything happen to you again."

"You can't promise that, Maura. You know you can't. Not ever knowing where he is or when he's going to come back, you can't promise to keep me safe, Maur. Just like I can't promise he won't come after you."

"Jane, can I ask you something?"

Jane nodded, burying her head in Maura's chest.

"Why are you so afraid of Hoyt? What makes him different from any other person that has come after you?"

Jane sat up and looked Maura in the eye, hesitantly chewing on her lip. "He- He's not just after me. He wants to hurt you, and he has already taken so much from me that there's nothing left to take, but you, I can't let him hurt you like he's hurt me. I can't let him do this to you, too." Her head bent and her face crumpled, the tears now cascading down her cheeks. "I-I can't, Maur. It would literally kill me if he ever got to you like he's gotten to me." Scarred hands flew up to her face and her body quivered with violent sobs.

"Jane, Jane, come here," Maura urged, sitting up and pulling the detective onto her lap. "Hoyt will never get to me, alright? I know you will never let him. I know that you would rather die than let Hoyt hurt me, but Jane, you won't let him get to me, and Barry, Vince, and I won't let him get you, alright? And you're okay. There's nothing wrong with you. Whatever he's broken we can fix. You aren't glass, Jane; once you're broken you can be fixed."

Jane sobbed, the hardest, most gut-wrenching sobs she'd ever cried in her life. Her arms wrapped around Maura's slender frame and fisted her nightshirt, pulling her closer so that her head could rest where Maura's heart lay hidden under a mess of flesh and bone. There was something calming about a beating heart, especially Maura's. It let her know that in this moment, she was still with her, and right then nothing else mattered; not today, not yesterday, not even ten years down the road from now or ten years behind them. The only minute of time that mattered was the one they were experiencing right now.

Maura leaned back against the headboard and snaked her own arms around Jane's body, holding her tight as she planted kisses in her hair and on her forehead, all the while murmuring words of comfort. "It's alright, Jane. We're going to be fine. Hoyt can't haunt us forever." The honey-blonde's body shook with the strength of Jane's cries, and she couldn't even begin to imagine how much physical pain the sobs were causing to Jane's injuries, but she needed to get out every emotion that had been building up since the day Hoyt took her, and Maura wasn't about to deny her any opportunity to make herself feel even the tiniest bit better.

At least thirty minutes passed before Jane's cries turned into sniffles and her uneven, heaved breaths turned into whimpers. She let go of Maura to rub a hand softly along her ribs, soothing the ailing muscles while her other hand now clutched at the front of her friend's shirt.

Maura kissed away each tear that continued to trek its way down her cheeks and offered her a small smile. "Why don't you lie down and I'll go find your pain medication?"

Jane shook her head. "I-I don't want to go back to sleep, and I don't want you to leave."

"I would never leave you, Jane, and we don't have to sleep. We can just lie here until you feel better."

She looked up shyly, eyes squinted slightly from lack of sleep, yet still terrified from all of the horrible things they'd seen. "What- but what if I never feel better?"

Maura slid Jane off of her lap and gently pressed her back against the pillows, planting another soft kiss to her cheek. Something about her nurturing kisses seemed to ease some of the tension from Jane. "Then we'll be here forever, but I promise, Jane, you'll feel better. It'll just take time."

Maura slipped off the bed, returning not even a minute later with Jane's medicine and a glass of water. She handed the pills to Jane and waited patiently by the side of the bed while she tossed them in her mouth, washing them down with a drink of water. She set the glass on the bedside table and walked back around the bed, climbing under the covers and scooting close to Jane. She laid facing the detective, Jane's face tucked protectively into the crook of her neck and her arms wrapped securely around her so that no one, not even Hoyt would be able to get to her again. They sat in silence, Maura content to just lay with Jane held in her arms. Her eyes grazed over the bright green numbers on the clock; three fourteen a.m., but it didn't matter. She would lie awake all night if it was what Jane needed.

"Maur?" Jane whispered hesitantly, breaking the comfortable silence as her head peeped out to meet the honey blonde's eyes. "I..." Her eyes travelled around the room, slowly sweeping over everything before landing back on Maura. "I- I'm afraid to go back to sleep," she finally admitted. "I don't want to have any more dreams. I mean, it's bad enough I can't get him out of my head when I'm awake, but I never get a break from him, Maura. Every time I look at my hands or my face in the mirror, I see the bruises and the scars and it just makes everything else come flooding back, and then when I sleep, I dream about what he's done to me or what he'll do to you, and I can never get away from him." She buried her head deeper into Maura's chest, fresh tears making their way down her cheeks for what seemed like the thousandth time that day. "I just need a break, Maur. I will do anything to get him out of my head."

"I know," Maura consoled, feeling completely helpless. There was nothing she could do, but be there for Jane. Nothing she did or said would stop the dreams or the never ending thoughts. She couldn't rewind time and take back what had already happened. She couldn't protect her friend from the horrors of growing up in this world or from the scum that tried to take her own life away from her, who in a way already did. "I know, and I'm so sorry, Jane." Warm tears escaped from Maura's own eyes, making tiny trails of water down her cheeks and onto the pillow beneath her head. "I love you, Jane."

Jane smiled softly, wiping away Maura's tears with the pads of her thumbs. "Please don't cry, Maur. This isn't your fault. There was nothing you could have done."

Maura shook her head, making a small gurgling noise as her own waterworks picked up. "I just wish I would have been there. All that time, Jane, knowing you were hurting, and that he was hurting you; all I wanted to do was protect you, and then when they finally found you, I was so relieved. The minute I got the call that they'd found you I was in my car and on the way to the hospital so I could meet the ambulance when you arrived, so I wouldn't miss you if I went to the location instead, so I wouldn't have to spend another second of my life not seeing you or knowing if you were safe. I just wish I had a way to protect you from Hoyt and all of the things he's already done to you, but I can't, and it isn't anyone's fault but his own, but that's what he wanted, to hurt you, and I want to kill him for it."

"Me, too," Jane agreed, sighing softly as she fought to keep her eyes open, sleep quickly invading her exhausted limbs. "And Maura," she said, sliding up the bed so that they shared a pillow, teary brown eyes meeting watery hazel ones, "I love you, too."


	3. Chapter 3

**So, ninety percent of you said Jane could absolutely not, in any way, have Hoyt's baby, but to the one of you that said it would be interesting, I completely agree, but I won't do it. And I'm literally making up every bit of this story as I go along, and I suck at what I call, "Filler moments" or moments between the intense scenes, so if you have any suggestions, I would love to hear them. Once again, thank you for all of the reviews, follows, and favorites.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Rizzoli and Isles- a stinkin non-Rizzles shipper does.**

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Jane shot up as the door to Maura's bedroom opened slowly, reaching for her gun on the bedside table. Her hands searched absently on the wooden surface as she kept her eyes locked on the door, but her service weapon wasn't there. Her heart fluttered and panic took hold inside her chest as it dawned on her that it had been taken away until she requalified for active duty. She felt Maura's hand wrap around her wrist, trying to get her to calm down and focus, but what was meant to be a gentle touch brought back horrifying memories.

A head finally poked through the door, shoulder length auburn hair emerging before a smiling face that quickly changed to worry. "Oh, I'm sorry, girls," Angela said sheepishly, stepping fully into the room. "I didn't mean to frighten you. I just wanted to make you breakfast." Her face was genuine and motherly, only wanting to help take care of the daughter who had been taken away from her, then returned broken and a shell of her former self. She was trying to help in the only way she knew how. "I thought pancakes might be okay. Maybe wouldn't upset your stomach, Janie."

Maura smiled and sat up straighter, taking in Jane's panicky state and the rigidity of her body. Her breaths were shallow, her mind still in fight or flight, and it was evident she was struggling to regain control. "Thank you, Angela. Pancakes would be wonderful. How about we meet you in the kitchen in a little bit?"

Angela nodded, stepping back through the door. "Alright, and I'm sorry again, girls. I'll call next time."

Jane took a steady breath when the latch clicked closed behind her mother, eyes falling to the hand still wrapped around her wrist. "Maur, I-I need you to let go. Please, Maura, please let go." Tears clouded her vision as Maura slipped her hand away, but the reminders of being restrained didn't fade. She rubbed her hand around the bracelet of bruises on her wrist, a reassuring mantra forming in her head. _You're alright, Jane. It's just, Maura. She would never hurt you. You aren't with Hoyt anymore. You're safe._

But it wasn't working. Everything was too much. First the scare with her mother and now this. The first few tears stumbled slowly down her cheeks, followed by more feverish ones as everything caught up with her.

"I-I'm sorry, Jane," Maura whispered, watching her closely. "I should have known."

Jane didn't hear her. Closing her eyes, the four familiar cinderblock walls came back.

_The sudden slam of pain in her temples sent tears down her cheeks as she forced her eyes closed tighter. Instinctively, she attempted to curl into a ball to protect herself against whatever had caused the trauma to her head, but the sharp tug of something wrapped too tightly around her wrists and ankles and the slight clink of metal on metal made her freeze. Her eyes shot open, glancing around the room as she mentally took inventory of her body. A thin, tattered blanket covered her completely naked form, and other than the lumpy mattress she was laying on, the room was bare. Jane followed the chain links around her wrist, only to whimper when she realized they were secured to hooks embedded in the concrete wall, and her feet were held by identical bonds locking onto hooks in the floor._

_She focused back on her body, trying to determine everywhere she had been injured. Starting at her head, she assessed each and every inch of skin, noting that most of the damage was only superficial. She had definitely been through worse; more times than she could even count. She took deep, cleansing breaths, forcing herself to remain calm so she could come up with a plan of escape. _

_The door creaked open and Charles Hoyt stared at her, a sly smile on his lips as her heart erupted once again. He could smell her fear, eyes shining brightly as he stepped closer to his most prized possession. "Janie," he rasped, running a dry, wrinkled finger up the length of her leg, stopping by the head of the bed. "It's been so long, but you knew I'd be back for you. After all, you are my favorite detective. Why don't we catch up a bit? Tell me about yourself. Start with this."_

_Jane trembled as he pulled a tiny object out of the front pocket of his jeans, holding it up for her to see. A small heart shaped locket dangled from the necklace he held in his hand. It had been a gift from Maura on her last birthday._

_Hoyt smiled as the brightness in her eyes dulled. Her strong demeanor was just a façade. He could hurt her without even touching her. "So tell me, Janie," he snarled, opening up the heart to reveal a tiny picture of her and Maura, taken on a random day in the office, "how did a filthy scumbag like you manage to score something as nice as Boston's Medical Examiner? I bet she's got strong hands and perfect posture, and she's in optimum health. And then there's you, with your damaged hands and a roadmap of scars all over your body." His gruff voice suddenly turned more harsh as he leaned closer to her, eyes staring straight into her soul. "You're nothing to her, Janie. Nothing but a poor, broken, average looking detective. Of course you're beautiful to me, but do tell me Jane, how did you manage to win over something as nice as her?"_

_An angry, tight fist unexpectedly made contact with her cheek, but her eyes never left the locket in his grip, praying that some unknown force would rip it out of his filthy hands and place it back on her neck where it belonged._

_"Don't worry, Janie," Hoyt sneered, slipping the locket back into his pocket. He walked over to the door, opening it wide enough to reach through and retrieve something sitting on the stairs, then turned back to face her, a video camera now cradled in his arms. "We'll make sure we record everything. I wouldn't want the nice doctor to miss out on any of our fun."_

"Jane," Maura half-shouted, shaking the detective as she moved to sit in front of her. "Jane, talk to me. I need you to talk to me!"

The brunette's eyes were glazed over. A cool layer of sweat now covered her body and she was trembling like a soaked puppy. Maura hadn't seen it coming. The flashback had started so fast. "Jane, please," she begged. "Please, come back to me. It's not real. You're here with me, Jane, not with Hoyt. Please, just come back to me!" She shook her fiercely, only stopping for a few seconds to slap her lightly on her bruised cheeks.

Finally, her eyes blinked and she looked down, tears dripping onto the sheets.

"Jane," Maura whispered, wrapping an arm securely around her. "Jane, can you hear me?"

Jane nodded, her head falling to Maura's shoulder as she buried her face in the crook of her neck, hiding her embarrassment as more tears fell like rain from her eyes. It seemed like all she did anymore was cry. "He- he took my locket."

"Oh, Jane, it's alright. We can get you a new one."

"I- I don't want a new one. I want the one you gave me." Jane cringed as the sentence slipped from her mouth, preparing for the slap that always followed when she argued, but it never came. She hesitantly peered up at Maura, keeping her head tucked near her shoulders should her fist come flying.

"Sweetie, what's wrong? You don't have to hide from me."

"Are- aren't you going to hit me?" Jane asked shakily. "For-for arguing?"

"I'm not going to hit you, Jane. I could never hurt you intentionally." Maura felt tears welling in her own eyes. The flashback seemed to have taken her a step backward, making her fear Maura the way she had Hoyt. "Jane, have I ever deliberately hurt you?"

She shook her head, slightly relaxing against the medical examiner as some of the fear of impending punishment went away.

"Then what makes you think now is any different from before? I don't know what he told you, Jane, but I care about you, and if he ever said anything to make you believe that I would want to hurt you, he was lying."

"Maur, how much did you see? He-he took videos all the time of everything he did to me, but I never knew what he did with them." From her place against her chest, Jane looked up at Maura's face, searching for any changes in her expression.

"He sent videos to the precinct Jane, very graphic videos. I'm not going to lie to you. I didn't see everything, but I saw enough to know that you were hurting and there was nothing I could do to stop him."

Jane buried her head in shame, moving away from Maura as she shoved herself off the bed. Her legs held steady for the half a second that she stood in place, but the instant she raised her right leg to take a step forward, she collapsed to the ground, hitting the wooden floor hard.

"Jane," Maura cried, bounding off the bed to kneel beside the detective. "Jane, are you hurt?"

Jane ignored her as she pushed herself up on her palms and began dragging her body furiously toward the bathroom.

"Jane, Jane," Maura said, blocking her path. She was crying hard as she placed her hands on her friend's shoulders. "Jane, please don't run. I would never think any less of you. After all of those times you saved me, I could never see you as anything but a strong, selfless detective. Please, Jane, please let me help you."

Jane lowered herself back to the ground, rolling over and sitting up as she reached for Maura. She hated herself. Her stubborn attitude and fight for independency were hurting the person that cared the most about her, and fighting Hoyt was something she couldn't do alone. "Hey, hey, I'm sorry, Maura. I didn't mean to upset you. My emotions are just, gosh, I don't even know. They're everywhere right now, and I don't know how to deal with the fact that you saw when he... when he..." she swallowed down the word rape, pulling Maura's hands away from where they covered her face. "I'm not even dealing with the fact that it actually happened to me, but knowing that you and Frost and Korsak and who knows who else has seen those videos, it's too much, Maura."

"It doesn't change anything about you, Jane. Korsak said that in all his years of working on the squad, he has never seen anyone as brave as you, and I was so proud of you for not giving up. Every time he hurt you, you fought back. You're here with me for a reason, Jane. Something inside you wanted to survive."

She shook her head. "I don't want to be here, Maura. I wish he would have killed me."

"Jane, no. You don't mean it."

"I do, Maura. I wish so much that I was dead instead of here right now. If there was some way I could completely erase him from my life then I'd do it in a heartbeat, but there's not, and he won't stop coming after us until I'm dead. It would be so much easier, Maura. I would be gone and you would be safe."

Maura felt as if she'd been slapped. Never in her life did she imagine anyone could hurt Jane Rizzoli so much that she wished she were no longer alive. Her small hands gripped onto the detective's upper arms and she fell against her, gasping for air as she begged. "No, Jane, please. I- I couldn't live without you. I don't know what I'd do if I lost you. You're the only friend I have, and I know it's selfish, but I need you to live, Jane. Please don't leave me."

Maura clung to Jane, hiccuping pleas as she inched closer and closer, until they were so close it was as if they were one. Jane sighed as she wrapped her arms around the medical examiner. "I'm sorry, Maura." She didn't know what else to say. Maura wanted her to express her feelings so she did, but look where it had gotten them; a sobbing mess on the floor. It didn't seem to matter what she did, but she would always be hurting someone. She thought that if she was no longer alive, then Hoyt would be satisfied and leave Maura alone; she could find someone she loved and live a happy life without her, but where it was wrong for her to be alive in Hoyt's eyes, it was wrong for her to be dead in Maura's.

"Jane," Maura gulped, hauling herself upright enough to see Jane's face, "please tell me if you ever feel like hurting yourself. Please, Jane, I can't lose you."

She nodded. It was the only thing she could do. The fear on Maura's face was enough to make her feel guilty for wishing she was dead, never mind the many ways she had thought about killing herself while in Hoyt's clutches and once she had been set free. She kept her arms around Maura, holding her close while she cried, and waited patiently for her incoherent blubbering to turn into sniffles, kissing her head and neck as the minutes ticked by.

A light rap on the door pulled her attention, but Maura didn't even look up. Her mother poked her head in, face laden with concern, but she schooled her features quickly. "The pancakes are ready whenever you girls are." They had been ready for almost ten minutes now, and Maura had said they would meet her in the kitchen, but after so much time had passed she had gotten worried.

"Thanks Ma," Jane rasped. "We'll be there in just a second."

Angela nodded and disappeared, closing the door behind her as Jane focused her attention back on Maura. Her tears had stopped, but her face was still wet and her eyes were red and puffy.

"I'm sorry, Maura. You said you wanted me to talk to you, but I shouldn't have said that."

"No, Jane, it's okay. I meant what I said. I do want you to talk to me. Whatever it is, I want you to tell me, alright?"

Jane nodded and Maura wrapped her in a hug, kissing her head. "How about we go get those pancakes now?"

Maura pushed herself up from the ground and helped Jane into the wheelchair, fastening the braces on her legs before they made their way out of the guest bedroom and into the kitchen.

"Good morning!" Angela greeted perkily, deciding it was best to not say anything about what she'd seen in the bedroom or the evidence on their faces that they had both been crying. She sat down at the table across from Jane and watched as her daughter poured a light amount of syrup over her pancakes then took a tentative bite, chewing slowly.

Maura kept her gaze on her food. Jane felt uneasy enough without having an audience to watch her, and she could see Angela studying the detective out of the corner of her eye. "Thank you for the pancakes, Angela," she said, breaking the woman's ogling as she started in on her own breakfast. "They look amazing."

Angela smiled. "Anytime, dear. I put some meals in the freezer for you and Jane. There's a sticky note on top of each one that tells you how long to cook them and at what temperature. It's simple stuff, like soup and spaghetti."

"Thank you," she repeated, tentatively glancing at Jane who was getting more pale every second. "You didn't have to do that."

"I know, honey, but I wanted to. I want to help you girls out as much as I can, and if I cook, that's one less thing the two of you have to worry about in a day."

Jane tried to look appreciative, but her stomach was rolling. She had taken four tiny bites, all of which added up to what used to be one bite, and she could already feel her digestive track rejecting it. She put down her fork and took slow, deep breaths, attempting to push the rising vomit back down her throat. She couldn't throw up, not in front of her Ma. She would cry, and that was the last thing she needed; more people crying over her. The urge strengthened and she put her hands on the wheels of her chair, rolling toward the guest bathroom as fast as her hands would move. She heard Maura excuse herself and the scraping of a chair against the hardwood floor, but all of her focus was on getting to the bathroom in time.

Maura entered the bedroom and slowed, her heart breaking. Jane was parked only a few feet from the bathroom door, shoulders heaving with sobs and her hands covering her face. What were once pancakes were now mush on her pajama pants.

"Hey," Maura cooed softly, placing a hand on her back as her body jolted again and bile mixed with the mess on her lap. "Shh, Jane. It's alright. Crying will only make it worse. Come on, let's get you cleaned up." She started to push Jane into the bathroom, but the brunette grabbed onto the wheels, preventing them from moving.

"Just go finish your pancakes, Maura. I can take care of myself. You shouldn't have to worry about me."

"Jane," Maura said, moving in front of her and bending down so that their eyes were level. "I want to help you, Jane. I want to help you take care of yourself. Throwing up isn't anything to be ashamed about. Your mother understands, and she could never be mad at you for not being able to eat her food. This isn't your fault, Jane."

The detective looked up, eyes brimming with tears. "Why does my body hate me?"

"It doesn't hate you, Jane. It's trying to recover from some very traumatizing events, and like you and I, it needs time."

"I'm not a very patient person."

"I know," Maura chuckled, "but we're going to do this together. And I'm getting very good at distracting, learned from the best. Speaking of distractions, I have a surprise for you."

"Really?" Jane watched as Maura stepped back behind her, pushing her into the bathroom. "What is it, Maur?"

"You'll see after we get you cleaned up, but I promise, you'll love it."


End file.
